I promise I haven't forgotten about all my readers of my blog. Let me start by saying... I know it has been more than a month since I have written. It has been a long and tiring 3 months of trying to figure out where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. I have talked about change being a good thing in my past posts but in my case, change all flooded in at once. Over that past 2 months, I decided to leave my position at Target to pursue another career field entirely, moved out of my one bedroom to live with a roommate (Hi Madi!) and basically started over in my work-life balance process. It has been a terrifying and stressful leap of faith but here are 3 things I learned about myself in the process.
1) Change is a good thing but it can happen quickly. Growing up, I always was taught that change was a good thing and always embraced it. I liked change. I felt it was good for my growth and development as a person. What I didn't realize was how change could effect me both physically and emotionally if I didn't know what was next. After college, I felt pretty comfortable in my career. I had a job lined up all year, knew I wanted (or thought I wanted) to live at home for a year to save money and enjoy being a young adult. But let me tell you, especially new college grads, the first year out of college is hard. Because of circumstances with my job, I had to move into an apartment closer to work by myself. Bye, bye comfort of my childhood home. I realized the career I had was constantly changing and realized this may not be my path. Bye, bye certainty. By the time the holidays hit, I felt empty, lonely and not like myself. Was I really not great with change like I thought I was? Was adulthood really this lonely and uncertain? For me, that answer was yes. I needed to find my happiness again. I needed, you guessed it, another change.
I knew I needed to do something back in December to get me out of this post-grad uncertain funk but I didn't know what I wanted. Was it a new career? More family and friend time? More me time? I couldn't quite figure out what I needed. I missed my happy spirit and knew she still lived in me somewhere. But how was I going to get her out? So I started simple: made lists. I often make lists to help my brain stay organized and to help me figure out what I need to do. This is just for me but for others this simple starting point might look different. Journal, blog or do what you need to get your brain organized. With all the chaos around you, simplifying it into a written down something may help you see clearly. And get you back on track to embracing the change.
2) Time with people is important. After isolating myself to wallow in the post-grad blues, I missed being around others. I missed my friends, boyfriend and most of all my family. I missed sharing with others. I missed happy hours, sports games and weekend brunch. I missed pizza movie nights. I missed writing and sharing on my blog. I missed all of you my readers. Being alone is ok if that is what you need but don't shut people out. They are there for a reason and are a great support system. I am beyond thankful for all of those in my life and the advice they gave over the past year. My parents have given me so many late night phones calls and texts telling me it will all work out. My best friends have provided fun and stressless evenings to vent and laugh. And my boyfriend has been such a trooper through all of it. If it wasn't for these people, I would have never had the courage to do what I did.
3) Trust that it will work out. It is ok not to be ok and to stress and cry and vent about how life is unfair. But don't let that be your one narrative. Get those thoughts out and then replace them with "Ok, how can I make this happen? How can I be the navigator in this situation?" I learned a lot about I act, feel and think over this year and replacing self-doubt with "what do I need to do" helped me a lot. My Dad is a huge advocate for this. During one of my low points where I felt out of control of all kinds of situations, he sat me down and said "Look Kris, you know what you want so go and get it. You always do so why is now any different?" That will stick with me for the rest of my life. He was right. If you want something, make it happen. You will be amazed at what you are capable of.
I hope this post finds all of you that are dealing with change some comfort. We will get through it. Embrace the change. It will be ok.